Children in your wedding party?

Children and  dogs are unpredictable. If you are thinking of having young children in your wedding party, here are some things to think about, and plan ahead for:

What is the personality of your little niece? Do you really know her? Is she so shy she may not even make it down the aisle? So many little children have found all those ‘tall grown ups’ on both sides of the aisle very intimidating on the wedding day itself.  You need to plan for the personalities of each child involved. Have they ever been in a wedding party before - or even been to a wedding?  Do they really understand what is expected of them on the day? Do they know how to behave? Are they’ hams ‘, or shy natured?  You might consider having two or three young children walk down the aisle together in a cluster - like the Royals do. The children will be much more relaxed and happier about this less formal arrangement.   No bride will truly ever have complete control over what may (or may not) happen as they come down the aisle. My advice? - Plan for success and wisely, expect the unexpected.

How can this be more fun for each child? What if you gave each child not a flower basket, but a stuffed animal or doll they will keep after the service? The cost is surely the same as a basket and fresh flowers and they may delight in this thoughtful surprise. Some teddy bears can even be dressed’ ‘bridal ‘. They will forever have a fun remembrance of their starring role in your wedding party.   Your niece is angelic.  How about a set of fairy wings? She’ll have lots of fun wearing them for the whole day. Or is your nephew a macho man? A truck or transformer presented to him that has the wedding rings carefully tied on a satin ribbon to his new truck?  You’re guaranteed great pictures of a smiling happy boy at your wedding!

And after the service, their job is done, so now what?  Some parents really do want an adult evening away from children. Are the few children present going to be bored? Is there anyone else around to play with? In my experience the answers to these questions are yes and no – in that order, so may I suggest you discuss these issues with the parents ahead of time. Perhaps make arrangements for someone to come to your wedding location and take them home? Now it has just become a delightful parent’s night out; the kids are going home happy to sleep. Or have plans been made with your caterer for simple child friendly foods?   Can they be served a wee bit earlier than the main meal? Or are there enough children that you will hire someone fun to organize and set up a few children’s activities that are quiet and age suitable. Bring a portable DVD player with a few, sure fire kid hits. Or plan a fast trip to the dollar store to buy fun arts and crafts activities; glue and stickers.

If you can, it would be great to have a quieter area at your venue set aside. Just a little bit of planning ahead can reap great rewards in creating a wedding experience that is sweetly memorable for you as the couple and the special children in your life that you both love. Something else to consider: a wedding pyjama party! Yeah! With sleeping bags, cousins, and staying up late as the big treat. The parents will be carrying home sleepy, happy children.

The dog steals the spotlight from the beautiful bride

Hard to believe, that a beautiful bride would want to share the wedding day spotlight with a huge St.  Bernard. - But it has happened!

Were the guests talking about her stunning dress, how beautiful she looked? Absolutely not! Everyone was talking about the same thing---the big St. Bernard, Sam. Throughout the service, the dog stood beside the couple - almost as if a dog whisperer / wrangler/ was standing nearby. Sam was cute, adorable, and comedic, all at the right moments. He certainly hammed it up in the direction of the guests.

During the ceremony, the plan was, I would ‘ask Sam’ for the rings from around his furry neck. He was the ring bearer after all.  All went perfectly and since I had been tipped off ahead of time, I cleverly had a few juicy liver treats tucked discreetly inside my service text book. That was a first! 

Sam really did steal the show. – What was it that W.C. Fields said? - Never share the stage with a dog or a child? He really knew what he was talking about! – But the wedding couple truly did not mind as they had a deep common love of dogs. They both have had a few St Bernard’s in their lives, collectively. Sam, in their view, was an important member of their closest family circle and needed to be close at hand during their warm and truly distinct wedding service. Later, there were lots of chuckles about Sam.  You guessed it .There were a flurry of funny jokes during the toasts that all ended with many doggie ‘punch lines’. - Nevertheless, a great time was had by all, at this delightful and unique wedding that went intentionally, ‘to the dogs'.

Rituals in Multicultural Weddings

The trend in the last few years in GTA weddings is to artistically blend and feature elements of each distinct culture or religion of the bridal couple’s family circles. This creates the opportunity for many visually interesting and meaningful rituals to be sourced from the diversity of all the cultures and faiths blended in the GTA. Recently, I officiated at a Persian/Hindu wedding. One of the Persian rituals has the bridal couple sitting on the “bench”. This bench is a very important element of any traditional Persian wedding day ceremony. Also, the same couple decided not to do another ritual - the “Sofreh-ye-Aghd”. There is tremendous history and heritage behind all rituals within a culture, but to fully honour each one would have taken a very long time. The couple decided to only focus on the “bench” ritual honouring her Persian family, and on one ritual from the groom’s Hindu background. In a very contemporary and innovative fashion they uniquely combined the exchange of rings and the exchange of flower wreaths at that same point in their modern and blended cultural wedding service. Yes, both family circles were very pleased to be honoured and represented!

Microphones and Ceremonies: What to Do

So many couples say they do not want microphones in their outside wedding services. But, from my experience, microphones are wonderful! You have spent so much time planning a beautiful and meaningful service, and it is important that everyone hears your vows, besides the family members in the first few front rows. I have even had experiences where microphones saved the day. I recently Officiated at a country outdoor wedding. During the service, a “neighbour” in a field next door practiced playing his bagpipe. In our opinion, he had a lot of practicing to do before he would be playing at anyone’s wedding! Luckily, we had a microphone and we were fine. (Yes, there was a lot of giggling and chuckling going on because he continued to practice throughout the whole service.) Without a microphone, his practice would have turned the ceremony into a comedy skit at the expense of the couple. Everyone was able to hear clearly the bridal couple’s moving and tender vows. Every outdoor venue has its own needs. For example, in a huge and beautiful expansive place like Graydon Hall Manor you must really have a microphone for outside ceremonies. A windy day with no microphone is very frustrating for your family and friends. As you can see, microphones are a great help! They are a wonderful invention and make a stunning outside wedding location very personable, and totally assist in engaging your guests in your love story. This photo is from Nicole & Adam’s elegant Graydon Hall wedding.

The Beauty of a Boat Wedding

What could be more romantic than a couple, very in love, floating around on a four masted schooner on a beautiful summer evening? Even better is to have along the very closest and dearest people in your life, for an intimate summer eve's boat wedding. The experience will last a lifetime. I officiated at such a wedding. The evening was great: the weather was good! The children adored the adventure of running around the historic schooner, Kajama, which was very comfortable, elegant and huge! What a treat! The romantic service was held at the bow of the boat. An intimate dinner was served downstairs, and afterwards, desserts were served upstairs on the deck under the stars. Dancing followed on deck with a great deejay playing just the right tunes to create a memorable evening for all. Going past the Toronto skyline with all its beauty of the dramatic lights was also a treat. Everyone present had an amazing wedding experience! I loved being the “floating” Officiant for this family focused, wedding adventure.

Wedding on the Kajama, photo - Ron Wood, Heartline Pictures

Wedding on the Kajama, photo - Ron Wood, Heartline Pictures

 


Unity Candles

This ritual is originally from the traditional Catholic wedding services, but has quickly become modern and very popular with the blends of multicultural elements and different religions. Lighting candles is a beautiful ritual and can be very adaptable for almost any wedding situation. The passage read by the Officiant can be from religious vocabulary or more non-denominational in tone. Even better is to write something that beautifully expresses the uniqueness of the couple’s blend of cultures or diversity. The passage can be written to feature two Mothers, or even Grandparents that are there and can be part of the wedding day’s happiness. Another possibility is to choose other family members coming forward to symbolically demonstrate their support of these two very diverse religions or cultures coming together. If there is a child in the immediate family circle of bride and groom, that child can have a personal moment as they are asked to come forward to light their “special” candle beside the groom’s and bride’s. Yes, children have always loved the magic of lighting a candle. Be sure to tell your photographer that you would love photos of each family member involved in the unity candle ritual. These are important memories in the years to come.