Have Your Say on Your Wedding Day!

In my own personal and professional experience as a Toronto wedding Officiant, I have found that the most memorable and heartfelt weddings are consistently those where the couple takes the risk to really be authentic. Couples share themselves, their personal thoughts and feelings, with their guests. Try to see your service as a blank canvas in front of you; giving you the freedom to express your distinctive love story, your dreams for the future and even your particular blend of humour. You will be so glad you made the extra effort!

Your wedding service itself does not necessarily have to be traditional or conservative in content. Old or new style, the ceremony should be a joyful celebration, which expresses with some “life” who the two of you are.
Have fun researching delightful, light-hearted quotes from the famous and infamous! Or even a great quote from a favourite character on a television show, a quote that has something interesting or even funny to offer on the subject of marriage, relationships, and love.  For example, you could check out websites such as www.weddinglovequotes.com

One example of humour injected into one of my Maclean House wedding ceremonies is shown in the pictures below.  The best man was the groom’s brother and had the wedding rings for the appropriate moment. Wanting to add a little levity to the service, when asked for the rings, he produced a green plastic garbage tie as the bride’s supposed wedding ring. As you can see, both bride and groom appreciated the fun of this spontaneous moment as did I and all their guests. The brother knew the ‘risk’ he took would be well received and would not take anything away from the more spiritual side of the occasion.

Humour is not only entertaining, it often provides easy solutions to your very sensitive dilemmas that invariably present themselves at every wedding service involving families. Yes, every bridal couple has families!

It all begins with the wedding invitations, but what kind?

As a Toronto wedding Officiant, often I’m the first to see couples' wedding invitations. I have lots of ideas to pass on for planning your Toronto wedding ceremony.

Wedding invitations have the potential to instantly tell your guests the practical details of your event. For those who wish the elegance of a traditional, engraved invitation, there are many boutique print shops that provide all the samples of both these traditional formats as well as samples of more contemporary designs. 

Below are some contemporary designs from Laura K, a boutique invitation company in Toronto. The photographs are by Mimmo & Co, another excellent wedding company in the city.

For those of you who might like to think “outside” the style of traditional invitations, there are many innovative examples of unique and personalized invitations. Rather than taking something from the wedding Internet sites, as everyone is doing these days, perhaps you can find or even personally write something that is meaningful to you both as a couple.



The National Ballet is the recipient of the funds from Paper Things, a Yorkville paper store. It is staffed by caring and committed volunteers. What a lovely benefit that your wedding invitations purchased here will assist the Ballet, keeping dancers on their toes.



Evite is a simple yet fun way to announce your wedding through email. This works very well for short notice weddings. You can create a personalized announcement with your own pictures and themes. As a host of the site you can ask invitees to send funny stories and/or memories of you both.

Tune up the music in your wedding ceremony

I know about weddings ceremonies! Over 21 years, I have been a Toronto wedding Officiant and I have some great musical ideas. For your wedding ceremony, consider a beautiful string quartet or a delightful jazz trio playing your favourite song in a classical manner. This song might be a slowed down version and styled to suit your grand entrance down the aisle. A couple I worked with loved the Star Wars series. They had a string quartet play an arrangement of the opening credit music. It was delightful! 

Can you imagine the surprise factor as your wedding guests arrive and walk down the musical red carpet? The guests loved it! This is the elegant entrance of Graydon Hall Manor, a very sophisticated location for Toronto wedding ceremonies and celebrations.

Or you might think about hiring a few voices from a community choir to sing a cappella? When this has been done during some of my past Toronto wedding services in the city and the GTA, I must tell you, both the couple and the wedding guests adored it! This is something very unique that does not happen very often in our lives. You are going to be pleasantly surprised how reasonably priced the fees are for choir members to sing at your wedding.

Here is talented Wellington Music, playing outside on the stone patio, for a Toronto wedding ceremony. This is the stunning view of Graydon Hall Manor, outside the main house. Picture by Ikonica. 

Classical music may be more appropriate for the beginning of the ceremony and the signing event. But I certainly suggest moving into much more upbeat music selection as the ceremony progresses. This can set the tone for a light, fun celebration ahead. Music is the magical ingredient that adds sparkle, beauty, and creativity to your special day and your ceremony. The current trend for Toronto wedding couples is to choose it carefully and with some creative thought. Put your best ideas, your sense of humour and blended creativity and organize a memorable wedding service together. You both will be glad you did and so will your delighted guests!

Save the Date: new, fresh ideas to announce your wedding plans!

It‘s very important to send the basic details of your wedding to your guests as soon as possible, before sending your formal invitation. It’s a kind and thoughtful way to help your chosen wedding guests ensure they reserve the date for you and not miss out on your special day. If some guests are from out of town, they will have time to book their travel itineraries and possibly their time away from work. As everyone is so busy these days, your guests will be delighted to receive a timely, fun and personalized notice from you, ahead of the arrival of your more formal, information filled wedding invitation. For those guests who are not in the internet generation, a short handwritten note with ‘Save The Date’ on it can be sent via the underused but reliable mail service!

These examples show some extremely creative ways to create a Save the Date wedding notice. While these particular examples can take time to create, there are many ways to use these ideas and recreate them in a simpler but individualized fashion.

When creating your Save the Date notice, be sure to use elements of your own style as a couple. Do you cook together, go running together, walk the dog, or ski together?  Perhaps you could cut and paste some fun vacation photos or family photos in a collage format? Or maybe you know someone in the wedding circle who has the skills to put something like this together? That could be a great meaningful wedding present to you both! Do you have a niece or nephew who could draw a colourful childlike picture of the two of you getting married? That could be a charming and unique way of announcing your plans.

Here are some more examples of very diverse but achievable ways to have fun sending out your Save the Date news.

Ambrosia photography-stop-motion Wedding Invitation 

Ellen and Tim save the date video

Save the date:: Zach& Chelsea

 

Landon & Kristen; save the date! 

Annie and Declan's Save the Date

 

Evite is a simple yet fun way to announce your Save the Date through email. You can create a personalized announcement with a Save the Date theme or with your own pictures and themes. As a host of the site you can ask invitees to send funny stories and/or memories of you both.

Creating this notice can really add to the fun and the excitement of your upcoming wedding celebration. Together, create something memorable out of the many possibilities available to you. Enjoy!

I promise to maintain my sense of humour



Morgan and Evan under the chuppah at the Fermenting Cellar. Photography by Catherine Farquharson



So many urban Toronto love stories transform years later into joyous wedding celebrations. Some have an element of humour mixed into the vows in the wedding service.

The wedding ceremony for Evan and Morgan was a creative, sensitive blend of their roots.  But the heart of the service itself still was their love and their delightful shared sense of humour. Yes, Morgan certainly knew what to expect in Evan’s surprise wedding vow to her. Evan definitely has a quirky, dry sense of humour:

“Morgan, you are my love, my best friend, and my partner in life.

I promise to never take you for granted, to encourage you, and to love you for all the days of my life.

In particular, I promise to:

Help clean the house even if it is clearly not dirty,

Pretend that this is the last time we will let Walter sleep on the bed,

Scratch your back whenever it’s itchy,

Stay on my allocated 50% of the bed,

Drive you to work in the mornings when you really need it,

No longer drive like a mad man.

I love you and can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you.”

Morgan knew to expect a suprise from Evan in his vows.

The Fermenting Cellar in the Distillery District was an inspiring blank canvas with which they created an exceptionally beautiful wedding day. The dramatic lighting, beautiful colour scheme, stunning ambiance, and the beauty of Morgan in her chic gown, all created a lasting impression. The sophisticated photography of Catherine Farquharson and a carefully created and very personal wedding service was performed by me. These were some of the many distinct elements that blended artistically into Morgan and Evan’s memorable wedding day experience.

Machel Reeves was their talented wedding coordinator who, once again, performed her signature magic. In Toronto, her “Machel” trademark weddings have always been trendsetting, elegant, and innovative. They are copied by many. 

Evan and Morgan’s wedding is still being talked about. Their guests were chuckling as Evan spoke his humorous vows. The photographs say it clearly: it was a visually stunning and extraordinary event!

I do wed you, with my own vow

Valuable Wedding Vow Wisdom (some TIPS)

Nicole and Adam had spent careful time planning exactly the right wedding vows to suit their personalities. Stunning Graydon Hall Manor was the location for this trend-setting. Picture by Ikonica.

1. First, ask your Wedding Officiant
To avoid disappointment, start by asking your Wedding Officiant, Rabbi, Imam, Priest, or Minister: "Is it okay if you write your own vows?"   

2. Short is good! 
The length of your vows does matter. Do try to think about what the most important topics are for. This is a “highlight”, a heartfelt moment of the service. But it can also be a very stressful experience for you as a wedding couple. It is natural that you are both going to be emotional during this very public commitment of your Love. Because you love each other, there is no need to attempt to prove it by overwriting your vows. A short sincere and heartfelt vow can convey your love clearly.  

3. A bit of humour? 
Many of my modern couples are adding the addition of something in the vows that is honest and funny for them both. Yes, this can give you both a little tasteful and joyous break from the seriousness of getting married in your own charming and sincere way. For example, a sentence about reminding each other, of whose turn it is to complete a dreaded home chore, has brought a tender humanness and even a small sweet laugh to a couple. Then, you can continue on to the more serious parts of your vows together. These days, a light and funny sentenceis a great addition to a beautiful and meaningful wedding vow!
 
4. Be careful of wedding vows written on the internet
If you are taking ideas off the Internet, ask yourself: Who were these vows meant for? Are these just too perfect, too lofty, and too overly dramatic? You both will be so much more engaged in vows that are ‘realer‘, and more authentic, closer to who you both really are. The sincerity of your caring and devotion will come shinning through. I believe it is always better when the final vows are more human, more honest, and less perfect, less contrived. After all, true love is two imperfect people seeing the perfection in each other. Your very unique love and intimate thoughts are what you really dowant to share with those you love and have invited to be part of your wedding day.

Ron and Lena saying their personal wedding vows outside, at the beautiful McLean House Garden at Sunnybrook Estates (yes, they did practice their vows ahead, before the wedding service). Photo by Heartline Pictures. 

5. Practise!A few days ahead of the ceremony, take some time to practice out loud your vows together. You are not expected to memorize these powerful sentences. However, the familiarity you will gain will be a great support to you both in a few days! You will be so glad you have created this level of comfort going into your service. This will not lessen the emotional experience of saying these words only on the day itself. On the contrary, this practice will enhance an already meaningful experience. You will definitely be less stressed and much more confident and comfortable delivering your vows.

Rituals in Multicultural Weddings

The trend in the last few years in GTA weddings is to artistically blend and feature elements of each distinct culture or religion of the bridal couple’s family circles. This creates the opportunity for many visually interesting and meaningful rituals to be sourced from the diversity of all the cultures and faiths blended in the GTA. Recently, I officiated at a Persian/Hindu wedding. One of the Persian rituals has the bridal couple sitting on the “bench”. This bench is a very important element of any traditional Persian wedding day ceremony. Also, the same couple decided not to do another ritual - the “Sofreh-ye-Aghd”. There is tremendous history and heritage behind all rituals within a culture, but to fully honour each one would have taken a very long time. The couple decided to only focus on the “bench” ritual honouring her Persian family, and on one ritual from the groom’s Hindu background. In a very contemporary and innovative fashion they uniquely combined the exchange of rings and the exchange of flower wreaths at that same point in their modern and blended cultural wedding service. Yes, both family circles were very pleased to be honoured and represented!

Microphones and Ceremonies: What to Do

So many couples say they do not want microphones in their outside wedding services. But, from my experience, microphones are wonderful! You have spent so much time planning a beautiful and meaningful service, and it is important that everyone hears your vows, besides the family members in the first few front rows. I have even had experiences where microphones saved the day. I recently Officiated at a country outdoor wedding. During the service, a “neighbour” in a field next door practiced playing his bagpipe. In our opinion, he had a lot of practicing to do before he would be playing at anyone’s wedding! Luckily, we had a microphone and we were fine. (Yes, there was a lot of giggling and chuckling going on because he continued to practice throughout the whole service.) Without a microphone, his practice would have turned the ceremony into a comedy skit at the expense of the couple. Everyone was able to hear clearly the bridal couple’s moving and tender vows. Every outdoor venue has its own needs. For example, in a huge and beautiful expansive place like Graydon Hall Manor you must really have a microphone for outside ceremonies. A windy day with no microphone is very frustrating for your family and friends. As you can see, microphones are a great help! They are a wonderful invention and make a stunning outside wedding location very personable, and totally assist in engaging your guests in your love story. This photo is from Nicole & Adam’s elegant Graydon Hall wedding.

The Beauty of a Boat Wedding

What could be more romantic than a couple, very in love, floating around on a four masted schooner on a beautiful summer evening? Even better is to have along the very closest and dearest people in your life, for an intimate summer eve's boat wedding. The experience will last a lifetime. I officiated at such a wedding. The evening was great: the weather was good! The children adored the adventure of running around the historic schooner, Kajama, which was very comfortable, elegant and huge! What a treat! The romantic service was held at the bow of the boat. An intimate dinner was served downstairs, and afterwards, desserts were served upstairs on the deck under the stars. Dancing followed on deck with a great deejay playing just the right tunes to create a memorable evening for all. Going past the Toronto skyline with all its beauty of the dramatic lights was also a treat. Everyone present had an amazing wedding experience! I loved being the “floating” Officiant for this family focused, wedding adventure.

Wedding on the Kajama, photo - Ron Wood, Heartline Pictures

Wedding on the Kajama, photo - Ron Wood, Heartline Pictures

 


Unity Candles

This ritual is originally from the traditional Catholic wedding services, but has quickly become modern and very popular with the blends of multicultural elements and different religions. Lighting candles is a beautiful ritual and can be very adaptable for almost any wedding situation. The passage read by the Officiant can be from religious vocabulary or more non-denominational in tone. Even better is to write something that beautifully expresses the uniqueness of the couple’s blend of cultures or diversity. The passage can be written to feature two Mothers, or even Grandparents that are there and can be part of the wedding day’s happiness. Another possibility is to choose other family members coming forward to symbolically demonstrate their support of these two very diverse religions or cultures coming together. If there is a child in the immediate family circle of bride and groom, that child can have a personal moment as they are asked to come forward to light their “special” candle beside the groom’s and bride’s. Yes, children have always loved the magic of lighting a candle. Be sure to tell your photographer that you would love photos of each family member involved in the unity candle ritual. These are important memories in the years to come.