I do wed you, with my own vow

Valuable Wedding Vow Wisdom (some TIPS)

Nicole and Adam had spent careful time planning exactly the right wedding vows to suit their personalities. Stunning Graydon Hall Manor was the location for this trend-setting. Picture by Ikonica.

1. First, ask your Wedding Officiant
To avoid disappointment, start by asking your Wedding Officiant, Rabbi, Imam, Priest, or Minister: "Is it okay if you write your own vows?"   

2. Short is good! 
The length of your vows does matter. Do try to think about what the most important topics are for. This is a “highlight”, a heartfelt moment of the service. But it can also be a very stressful experience for you as a wedding couple. It is natural that you are both going to be emotional during this very public commitment of your Love. Because you love each other, there is no need to attempt to prove it by overwriting your vows. A short sincere and heartfelt vow can convey your love clearly.  

3. A bit of humour? 
Many of my modern couples are adding the addition of something in the vows that is honest and funny for them both. Yes, this can give you both a little tasteful and joyous break from the seriousness of getting married in your own charming and sincere way. For example, a sentence about reminding each other, of whose turn it is to complete a dreaded home chore, has brought a tender humanness and even a small sweet laugh to a couple. Then, you can continue on to the more serious parts of your vows together. These days, a light and funny sentenceis a great addition to a beautiful and meaningful wedding vow!
 
4. Be careful of wedding vows written on the internet
If you are taking ideas off the Internet, ask yourself: Who were these vows meant for? Are these just too perfect, too lofty, and too overly dramatic? You both will be so much more engaged in vows that are ‘realer‘, and more authentic, closer to who you both really are. The sincerity of your caring and devotion will come shinning through. I believe it is always better when the final vows are more human, more honest, and less perfect, less contrived. After all, true love is two imperfect people seeing the perfection in each other. Your very unique love and intimate thoughts are what you really dowant to share with those you love and have invited to be part of your wedding day.

Ron and Lena saying their personal wedding vows outside, at the beautiful McLean House Garden at Sunnybrook Estates (yes, they did practice their vows ahead, before the wedding service). Photo by Heartline Pictures. 

5. Practise!A few days ahead of the ceremony, take some time to practice out loud your vows together. You are not expected to memorize these powerful sentences. However, the familiarity you will gain will be a great support to you both in a few days! You will be so glad you have created this level of comfort going into your service. This will not lessen the emotional experience of saying these words only on the day itself. On the contrary, this practice will enhance an already meaningful experience. You will definitely be less stressed and much more confident and comfortable delivering your vows.